Saturday, July 02, 2005

I got this somewhere.....

It was an emotional week. Lately, I was so preoccupied of things I can’t explain. Not really of extraordinary things, but things that bothers me and confuses me and things I can’t sort. I hope I could start again or maybe go back to correct what I have done wrong. I really hope I could go back and fix it.

I just lose a part of me …

It’s hard for me to explain things and defend myself to fix things but what I know is at the bottom of my heart and at the top of my brain … (that person knows it.)

It’s hard, loving a person that doesn’t love you anymore. It’s so painful. It feels like your emotions are shattered.

It’s hard to move on especially when you know that you have done something that ruined everything.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say anymore to change things. Yes I can’t accept things now but I know I’ll move on. However, right now I really what YOU to come back and the least I can do is hope. I hate myself for loving you this much and it hurts more knowing YOU don’t love me anymore. Damn, this sounds pathetic.

Do I cry? Yes I cry even if I don’t want to. ….I just hate the part of me that is sentimental. What can I do? I am just a human being. I have emotions. I know how to love and care. And when I do, I give it all. Is it bad? I don’t know. For me, yes or I may be wrong too but right now what I know is I feel the pain. It is the pain from loving YOU sincerely.

Yes I know I screwed up… and that makes me feel worst.

It’s so hard to change your decision. That also hurts.

What I know is I am just a boy who loves. And right now I still love you and this makes me cry.

I know I said I hate you, but I can’t. I hate myself more because I love you this much.

I wish things are more simple. I hope we could just live a simple life with the one we love.

You may be hurting too….or maybe you could have already totally forgotten me…I don’t know.

I just want to be happy. If you still love me, I want to work it out with you. Why you? I can’t explain it too. I just want to be with you. I love you the way you are. The way you talk, the way you smile and even the way you commit mistakes. I just love the whole you and being with you is one of the happiest moment I have. However, I can’t force you to love me again (if you have really fallen out of love). Again, the least I can do is hope until we have totally forgotten each other or until you will come back to me. Right now, I am still hoping and praying things will work out.


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